Hello, dear readers. Life continues to be weird. Time continues to feel more ethereal than normal. I still rarely remember what day it is. This pandemic continues to creep closer and closer to hitting home with me; I know for some of you, it’s already there. It’s a scary time.
I am trying desperately to hold onto what glimpses of light I can in the midst of all the uncertainty. Here are a few things that have been bright spots in my week:
- It has been so bright in my “office” (our sunroom) when I start working in the mornings that several times I have needed to pull out my sunglasses. The sunlight, even filtered through our windows, is a welcome and wonderful thing.
- There are trees immediately outside of our sunroom windows (we’re up on the 3rd floor). I have multiple times now experienced the joy of watching a squirrel take a nap on a branch. I think it may be building a nest in the tree, as I saw it gnaw off a twig or two yesterday.
- I’m so enjoying watching nature from my sunroom. In addition to napping squirrels, I’ve seen house finches, mourning doves, robins, sparrows, and a woodpecker.
- The trees are starting to bud. Before we know it, there will be fresh, vibrantly green leaves coming out, and it will feel like we live in a tree fort.
- I’m getting ready to play a D&D campaign with some friends and family that I am incredibly excited about. I am so glad to have the distraction of play in the midst of all of this.
It is definitely a dark and scary time right now. I am rotating regularly from fear to anger to sadness to numbness and back again, and I know that’s a perfectly reasonable response to what we’re going through. It’s also why I think it’s so important to find those little moments of comfort and light.
I’d love to hear from you – what are the things that have lifted your spirits lately, however briefly? How are you holding up?
I almost didn’t post anything this week. It feels like the only newsworthy item is the fact that I am suuuuuper allergic to the tree pollen that has exploded into the air this week. I am about nine kinds of congested and gross right now. My line at this time of year, as I sniffle and my eyes water, is: “Nature is just *sniff* so beautiful.” Truly, I love trees. And I love spring. Unfortunately, trees in spring do horrible things to my sinuses.
Other than all the sniffling, it’s been a pretty quiet week. Here are a few things that are getting me through this week of allergens:
- Lizzo’s new album, Cuz I Love You. If you haven’t yet, get yourself a copy. (It’s a very reasonable $7.99 on iTunes.) I have loved everything that Lizzo has put out, and this album is no exception. Her music is empowering and so damn catchy. Give it a listen!
- I had my last banjo class (for now, anyway) last night. It’s been a super fun break from songwriting and was a great palette cleanser. Now I’m headed back to songwriting class next week excited to create new stuff. Music makes my life so much fuller.
- I have tomorrow off because of Passover, and I am so happy about it. I have barely managed to get into the office the past few days because of my allergies, but I’ve done it. I’m ready for an extra day off.
It’s been a week of weird (and sometimes unsettling) dreams, which have run the gamut from unknown attackers trying to kill me to being unable to beat a level of a video game. It’s been full of particularly restless nights and disorienting awakenings. I think it’s a sign that I’m heading into a more manic phase. I’m in that space where my body is constantly tired and achy, but my brain is running a thousand miles a minute, and I’m just hanging on and hoping to reach equilibrium relatively soon.
With the arrival of September comes my month of shortened work weeks thanks to the variety of Jewish holidays that are happening (I am not Jewish, but my employer is), which I suppose makes this as good a time as any for me to be more than a little distracted.
The one area in which I’ve been strangely focused the past several days has been my knitting. By the time this post goes up, I will have finished the second sleeve of one of the sweaters I have on the needles (with plans to start the body at knit night tonight), and I’ve gotten it into my head that I should finish this thing in time for a little solo retreat up north that I’ve planned for myself at the end of the month. In theory, it should be possible…we’ll see if my enthusiasm is maintained over the next couple of weeks (and if the weather cooperates and goes back to some sort of reasonable fall range of temperatures so I can actually wear the damn thing).
I’m getting excited about the aforementioned solo retreat. I’m not particularly outdoorsy if I’m truly honest with myself – I quite like the convenience of city life (and air conditioning, at this time of year) – but I go a little mad if I don’t get out in nature on occasion. So I’m renting a car and going camping for a couple of nights (in a tent, but armed with a cot – I’ve come to grips with the fact that I can’t sleep on the ground anymore), and bringing my guitar and my tarot cards and journaling materials and a camera, turning off my phone, and spending a few days getting reacquainted with myself as an introvert. I’m not making a lot of firm plans for my time, so I’m not particularly worried about anything not going as planned (aside from weather, which I am confident I can work around). My hope is that disengaging from my usual routine for a few days will allow me to come back at it feeling refreshed and refocused.
Until then, I’ll be spending most of my time adjusting to life at the office without my boss on site, and knitting like mad. While I’m not thrilled with how achy my body is, in general I’m looking forward to the adventures that September has in store.