songwriting

Finding the Magic

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday! It has been a somewhat chaotic week – I’ve been doing interviews for an open position on my team, schoolwork has felt like a lot this week, and I’m gearing up to head to Boston for about a week starting next Thursday to help take care of a chosen family member who’s having surgery. I’m tired and trying to keep my head above water.

But, over the weekend, I had the magical experience of hearing a song that I wrote performed by a choir!
After I performed at the open stage at Song School, a fellow attendee asked if I would be okay with him writing a choir arrangement for it for his choir at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Phoenix. On Sunday it was performed as part of their service on the theme of Deep Listening (which, as a current Spiritual Direction student, felt extremely appropriate), and I got to watch it streamed live on YouTube. I don’t have words for how it felt to hear this song I was already pretty proud of come to life like this – I definitely cried.

This video should start at the spot where they performed the song, but in case it doesn’t, that happens around 39:17.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to experience something so magical in the midst of a hectic couple of weeks.

On Monday (even though it was almost 90 degrees outside) we revived Hotdish Monday with a classic from my husband’s grandma:

It felt good to cook, and I’m looking forward to doing Hotdish Monday more regularly again now that it finally seems to be cooling off.

We also discovered this week that Nova enjoys being rocked in the glider in my little reading nook in the office:

So a hectic week, but not a bad one, even if I’ve felt overwhelmed at times. I think I’m going to wrap things up here for the week – there might not be a blog next week (or possibly the week after) since I’ll be traveling, but I’ll be back! I’ll leave you with a couple more Nova photos in the meantime:

Song School 2023

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday! We are back from Colorado, and while re-entry into work and everyday life has been a little rough, I’d rather focus on the lovely time we had at Song School this. year.

We dropped Nova off at the boarding facility early in the morning the Friday before Song School, so that she wouldn’t need to be around for the packing and pre-trip chaos. It was really weird coming back to the house without her, but it did make it easier to get everything pulled together. Saturday we did the entire drive to Colorado in one day! It took almost exactly 16 hours, including breaks. It was a relatively uneventful trip, except that at some point in Iowa, the car started making some knocking sounds. None of the dashboard lights were coming on, and nothing felt off as we were driving, so we kept going until partway through Nebraska, when it was clearly getting progressively worse. My husband finally ended up looking up a video on YouTube that confirmed my suspicion that we might be low on oil. We pulled off at a gas station in Nebraska, added a couple of quarts, and hit the road again – adding the oil immediately silenced the knocking sounds and it was smooth sailing after that. Shortly after arriving in Colorado we hit a brief but intense cloudburst – all I could do was follow the taillights in front of us. I ended up doing most of the driving, by my own choice – there was something meditative and freeing about the drive that allowed me to let go of everything at home, everything work and school related that I was stressed about, and just be present. It meant that when we finally got to Song School, I was able to feel like I really landed there.

We stayed in a hotel Saturday night, and then Sunday afternoon we got to check into the tiny house where we stayed for the duration of Song School!

It was slightly smaller than the tiny house we stayed in last year, but still sufficiently roomy for us and our guitars for the week. We ran into other Song Schoolers at check-in, which was fun. Later that afternoon we were able to check in to Song School itself. We scoped out the campgrounds there to see how many friends we could find before turning in early in an effort to set ourselves up for success for the rest of the week.

Song School itself was really lovely! I really tried to listen to my body, and I took a few class periods off throughout the week to just sit by the river and write. I ended up getting the first draft of a new song written. On Tuesday night I got to perform at the open stage; I brought my husband and a couple of dear friends up on stage with me for harmony and we got the audience singing along by the end:

The week was, for the most part, exactly what I needed it to be.

We ended up breaking the drive back into two days – We did the first 13-ish hours to Ames, IA on Friday, and the final 3 hours or so home on Saturday. I’m glad we picked the safer choice rather than trying to push through.

I feel like I learned a lot, as always, but this year the lessons were more subtle, and more about rest than about action. I’m still figuring out how to integrate that sense of presence and being in the moment into my everyday life. I’m so grateful to my Song School friends and family for a beautiful and much needed week away.

And before I go, here are some Nova photos from her adventures at doggo camp and the last few days back at home:

Happy News

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday! It’s a bit of an off week here – I’m on PTO all week in order to be able to wrap up my summer class before also being on PTO all of next week for Song School. But before I get into any of that, some happy news:

Mouse got adopted on Saturday! We were down to the wire for finding her a new home, but Friday afternoon the adoption coordinator called to let us know she’d gotten an application from someone who was very excited to meet Mouse. We went in on Saturday and it was really a perfect fit – Mouse’s new mom lives out in the suburbs in a house with a good-sized yard and a 15 year old beagle. She’s been sending us occasional updates and Mouse looks so much more relaxed already. So while it’s a little sad and weird to not have her here anymore, overall it’s a good thing and the fact that she landed in such a perfect spot has made this a lot easier emotionally than we expected.

This week has been busy, but good. Monday we got to connect with our kid, a young trans chosen family member who calls us their trans dads – they were up on the north shore of Minnesota with their parter and their partner’s family. We had a lovely time hanging out and catching up – I hadn’t gotten to see them in person in four years, so it was extra wonderful to be able to hug them and hear how they were doing face-to-face.

Tuesday was mostly a rest and recovery day. Yesterday I wrote all seven pages of the first draft of my final paper for my summer class before running all over town doing pre-trip errands. This morning I had therapy, we had virtual breakfast with a dear friend, and now Nova and I are hanging out at home while my husband heads over to their parents’ house to help their family out today. I’m hoping to finish my paper today.

Tomorrow we’re taking Nova to the boarding facility early in the morning before coming home to pack – we figured we’d wait to start the packing until she was out of the house, since this week has been stressful enough for her already. And then we leave on Saturday and Song School starts on Sunday! I can’t wait to be back in that place with those people.

There will be no blog next week because I’ll be at Song School trying to stay off-grid as much as possible. In the meantime, please enjoy these Nova photos!

Winding Down

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday! I spent most of yesterday half-convinced it was already Thursday, so I’m glad it’s finally here.

We’re winding down our last week with Miss Mouse, and I’m having lots of feelings about it. I’m also trying to wrap up a bunch of stuff at work before I take two weeks of PTO. Next week I’m going to mostly be working on wrapping up my summer class and getting my final paper done for that, and the following week is Song School! So there’s a lot to look forward to amidst the big feelings about saying goodbye to our little Mouse.

I’m very ready to wrap up school for the summer. I’m really enjoying my Buddhist Scriptures class…and I’m really starting to feel the fact that I didn’t get any time off between spring and summer term. Thankfully, after this class wraps up I’ll have about a month before fall classes start.

Last weekend I did a fun project – I built a mechanical keyboard with a case made out of (generic) Lego! I bought the kit online after seeing several social media ads for it. I had a lot of fun putting it together, and I’m really enjoying typing with it! Here are some photos of the process:

Other than that, I’m just trying to keep my head above water at work for the next couple of days. I really need this PTO. Thankfully I didn’t feel like I really needed it until this week, but if I wasn’t taking this time off, I’d be on the fast track to burnout right now.

I will leave you, as always, with some doggo content:

Retreat

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Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday! It’s been a hell of a week at work so far, but last weekend I went on a really lovely solo retreat, and I’m going to focus on that today.

I stayed in a little one-room cabin that was extremely cute:

I arrived Friday evening, and most of my time there on Friday was spent getting acclimated to the space. I ended up crashing pretty early that night.

Saturday ended up being a beautiful day! This was my view as I sat and ate breakfast, journaled, and worked on some songs:

(My husband pointed out that the pile of snow there looks rather like a leopard snoozing with one eye open.)

I spent a fair amount of Saturday writing, whether journaling or working on songs. I ended up getting two new songs written, both of which I’m pretty happy with, and which brought my final total for FAWM up to 11 songs in the month – that’s 10 more songs than I expected to write, and almost 4 times as many as I wrote last FAWM! In the evening I lit a fire in the fireplace – I wasn’t sure if I was going to end up doing it, because matches kind of freak me out and I was afraid I’d accidentally burn the place down, but it ended up being fine:

As the fire crackled, I watched the sunset from one of the rocking chairs, and it was glorious:

After it got dark, I turned all the lights in the cabin off and looked outside in the hopes of doing a bit of stargazing. I ended up seeing an old friend directly outside my window:

It was a lovely time away, and by Sunday morning I was ready to be home. I got back and had a lovely afternoon to lounge around my apartment with my husband and Nova before heading back out for a D&D game that evening, which was also super fun!

Monday I ended up waking up pretty sniffly and very tired, so I took a sick day. Tuesday and Wednesday were bonkers days at work, and I’m bracing for that to continue through the rest of the week. Still, I’m grateful for my little weekend getaway and the chance to reconnect with myself.

I will leave you with two things: first, if you’re interested in listening to anything I wrote for FAWM this year, you should be able to do that here through the month of March. And finally, here are some photos of Nova using me as a pillow for a full hour on Monday. I think she missed me while I was gone.

Snowy Sick Day

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday! We’ve gotten a whole bunch of snow in the last couple of days here in the Twin Cities. Nova is thrilled.

Last night I went to bed early with a headache, hoping I could sleep it off. I woke up this morning with less of a headache, but a very stuffy nose. I ended up calling off from work in the hopes that resting more will mean I’m not sick on my retreat this weekend. After a few more hours of sleep, I’m feeling somewhat better. Fingers crossed that this cold doesn’t get any worse in the next 24 hours.

I’ve lost some steam with FAWM – I’m holding steady at 9 songs. Hoping to get at least one more written over the weekend, but I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself. I’ve already tripled my output from last year, and seeing as I’m still working and in school, that feels pretty good.

Not much else to report today. I’m excited to head up north for my solo retreat tomorrow and hoping the weather (and my immune system) hold out so that I can go.

I’ll leave you, as always, with some Nova photos:

Halfway

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday. This week has felt long for no particular reason, and I’m grateful that we’re nearing the weekend.

We are just over halfway through February, which means FAWM is just over half done. I’ve written 8 songs so far this month! I’m pleased that I’ve been able to do as much writing as I have been, even if it means getting up at stupid o’clock to do it. I’m having fun, which is the point.

Next weekend I’ve decided to take myself on a little solo retreat – I found a retreat center north of us where I’ve rented a little one room cabin for Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon. I’m looking forward to it.

Today is going to be a long day to top off an already long week, but it’s ending with a much-needed massage, so that’s a happy thing.

I don’t really have a whole heck of a lot to report this week. But I’ll leave you, as always, with some Nova moments from this week:

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday. I’ve been all over the place this week in terms of focus and feelings and I am very glad that it’s nearly Friday.

FAWM is off to a great start, though! It’s February 9 today, and I’ve written 6 songs so far, which is twice as many as I managed last year and nearly halfway to “winning” with 14. I’m still not setting myself any sort of numerical goal this year – my second class of the semester starts tonight and things are going to be a bit busier from here out – but I’m really pleased with how it’s gone so far. I’m getting up at stupid-o-clock in the morning to make writing happen, but it hasn’t been too terrible yet.

I’m really excited about the class that’s starting tonight, which is sort of a continuation to the Intro to Spiritual Direction class I took last semester. I know all of my classmates, and they’re all lovely people that I’m excited to dig into the material with. We’ll be looking more at the practicalities of how to actually build a spiritual direction practice this semester. I’m also still really enjoying my Comparative Religious Ethics class, although I realize I need to start thinking more about what I want to write my final paper on so I can get a head start, since the last few weeks of the class will be immediately post-hysterectomy and I don’t know how much brain power I’ll have at that point.

Work has been a bit of a mixed bag this week. I’m juggling a lot of different priorities and I feel like I’m doing almost none of it particularly well. Thursdays are the days when I have therapy and then four 1:1s with direct reports that are basically back-to-back, which was a choice I made and that I mostly stand by, but it means by the end of the work day my brain is pretty fried. We’ll have to see how sustainable class is on top of that this semester.

Anyway, I’ll leave it there. As always, please enjoy these Nova photos:

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday!

It is officially February, which means that FAWM has officially begun, and I am so excited about it! My goal going in this year was to get at least one song written, and I’ve already surpassed that by getting up early the past two mornings to write. FAWM is my favorite part of the internet, and the creative energy and output is truly astonishing. I’m loving listening to what friends and strangers are posting, and feeling inspired to see how far I can get this year. Last year I only managed 3 songs, which was still more than I expected given I was in my first semester of seminary, so we’ll see. My second class starts next week, so I’ll have less time after that.

Other than that, it’s a pretty normal week. Work has been a little up and down, but not as overwhelming as the past few weeks, so that’s nice. I picked up a book this week that a friend recommended that I’m excited to dig into. I’m working on knitting the sleeves of a sweater. I’m glad the sun has been out, even though it’s been pretty cold. I’m just generally in a better headspace this week than I was last week, and that’s nice.

I shall leave you, as always, with some Nova photos:

Thursday Ramblings

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and welcome to Thursday! We had Monday off at work in observance of Lunar New Year, and then I ended up only working half of Tuesday because I was wrestling with a headache, so I’m all sorts of turned around about what day it is this week.

It’s been an okay week – I’ve gotten some knitting done, and am so far staying caught up on homework. I’m really enjoying my Comparative Religious Ethics class, and I’m really excited to start my next Spiritual Direction class in a couple of weeks. I also made the decision last week to switch from going for a MAL (Master of Arts in Leadership) in Spiritual Direction to an MDiv in Spiritual Direction; I’ll get to take more classes I’m interested in, and I think it’ll open up more possibilities for what I might do with the degree post-graduation. It means I’m adding an extra year or so onto my seminary journey, but I’ll still be done before I’m 40, so that’s fun.

Work has continued to feel kind of bananas, but I’m managing to stay afloat at this point. I need to nail down what I’m doing for a stretch project over the next few months (keeping in mind that I’ll be on medical leave for one of those months to recover from the hysterectomy); I have some ideas, just need to get them organized.

I’m very excited that FAWM is less than a week away! It’s always one of the highlights of my year. Even if I don’t get much writing done this time around, I’m excited to hear what everyone else comes up with.

I think that’s about it for me this week; here’s your weekly dose of Nova: