Running Late

I am, generally speaking, a person who is chronically early. I show up to appointments half an hour early. I give myself more than the recommended two hour buffer to get through security at the airport before I fly. It helps to mitigate my anxiety – I’d always rather be early than late.

This week, though, has been an off one for me. While I’ve been early for anything I have going on in the evenings, getting to work on time has been a major struggle. Today, although I was not technically late for work, I was late by my own standards. And this blog post should have been ready to post at 9am, but here I am writing it at 10. I’m tired, I’m fighting some upper-respiratory bullshit that’s been going on for a month, it’s cold…all I want to do is stay curled up in my apartment with a book.

I was really planning to use January to get used to getting up early again, so I’d be ready to write in the mornings during FAWM. That has…definitely not happened. I’m excited for FAWM to start, but also really worried that I won’t be able to pull it off this year, because I’m so damn tired all the time. Thankfully, my February evenings this year are less packed than they were last year, so I’ll have more time in the evenings if I can’t get myself out of bed in the mornings.

In happier news, here are some things I’m glad about this week:

  • I started seeing a new therapist on Monday, and I am really optimistic about this.
  • I managed to write a song for class this week that I actually rather like, even if it still needs some work.
  • I was able to take the day off yesterday when I woke up feeling especially under the weather, and used the day to finish reading a Terry Pratchett book, which made everything feel less awful.

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