Just Keep Swimming

The first week of 2015 has not exactly been a party. Mostly, my back is still giving me a lot of trouble, and I’ve spent a lot of the past week wondering if I will ever stop being in some level of pain. I had x-rays done last Friday, and got word back yesterday that, despite outward appearances, my back and hip appear to be more or less normal. On the bright side, this means that it is probably just a bad series of muscle spasms, and not a skeletal issue. On the not-so-bright side, it means I’m going to need to keep taking muscle relaxers indefinitely, and I definitely need to find a physical therapist.

Aside from my back being a (literal) pain, though, things are generally okay. I’ve definitely been dealing with a bit of depression (both because that seems to be where I’m at in my Bipolar cycle, and just situationally), but I’m trying to look for bright spots. I’m knitting as much as I’m able. I took out my fountain pen collection this week and decided to try to get back into written correspondence – in 2013 I had a few pen pals in different countries, but right around the time I was interviewing for my current job I totally lost my letter-writing mojo. I’ve now written letters to all three of my former pen pals plus one new one, along with some thank you notes for the people from work who gave me little holiday gifts, and I’m remembering how much fun it is to write letters. I love the immediacy of email, instant messages, and texts, but there’s something really special about handwritten correspondence.

Mostly, I am trying to take things one day at a time. This isn’t a particularly fun place to be in, but I’m doing what I can to get through it and trying to learn what I can along the way. We’ll see how long I can keep this attitude going.

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