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Finding Time to Rest

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Friends, apologies for another late post – I stayed home sick today in an attempt to recover from the cold that’s plagued me for the past week before I go to visit my grandmother for her birthday on Saturday, which meant I slept in rather than writing a post on time. I’m feeling a bit better after the extra sleep and a shower, so I’m hoping that’s a good sign.

Part of why I called off from work and took a sick day was also due to the fact that this is just a bit of a bonkers week. My bestie from Minnesota was in town over the weekend, which was delightful. She left Monday afternoon; Monday evening I had therapy and my partner and I both played sets at an acoustic show. Tuesday I had the day off, but somehow it went by very quickly…that evening, we got dinner with our friend Emily Ann Peterson who was in town for a show, and then I had songwriting class. Yesterday I went to work (despite the fact that I felt pretty crummy when I woke up), and then in the evening we went to Emily Ann’s show, which was super fun. Tonight, I’m volunteering at the Old Town School, and tomorrow after work I’m picking up a rental car, picking up my partner, and driving to western Wisconsin. Saturday morning, we’re getting up early and going to eastern Iowa to have birthday brunch with Grandma, and then we’re driving back to Chicago for another show (our friends Heather Mae and Crys Matthews). Sunday I’m returning the rental car, playing Monsterhearts 2 with some friends, and possibly (if the game ends at a reasonable time) going to my songwriting class showcase. So yeah. Busy week.

So while I didn’t really want to use my sick time, I am taking today off, because if I keep going at the breakneck speed I feel like I have been, I’m going to end up with more than a cold. I’m going to try to get some laundry done while I’m home today, but beyond that, I’m trying to rest.

Thursday Ramblings

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

It’s Thursday, and I’m tired.

I’ve been tired all week. I’m fighting an end-of-summer cold, and it’s making mornings especially challenging. Today, at least, I was able to get up and out of the house at a reasonable hour – I’m leading a training at work this morning, so it would’ve been especially problematic if I was late. But I feel like I’m dragging.

The fact that the weather got hot again is not helping matters – I am ready for fall weather. I’m also ready for consistent weather – the constant shifting is really hard on my body – but that’s probably not a realistic wish in Chicago.

I’m not having a bad week, exactly. I’m just low on energy. The weekend was good – I got to play D&D and we got the apartment more settled. I wrote a song I liked for class this week, so that was exciting.

How about you, dear readers? How are you feeling as we wait for the season to really start changing? What’s new and exciting in your lives? I’d love to hear from you.

It’s All About Community

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Happy Thursday, dear readers! I am getting back into the swing of life after a wild couple of weeks, and I nearly forgot to blog – I keep thinking it’s Friday.

Last week, my partner and I made our way to the Rocky Mountain Song School in Lyons, CO. We got a late start, leaving Chicago for Lincoln, NE around 2:45 Friday afternoon, because we were trying to get the rest of the packing for our move done before we hit the road. We got to our hotel in Lincoln around 1:15am. It made for a short night.

We drove to a friend’s house in Denver the next day. It turned out her roommates were gone, and she was dog-sitting for some other friends, so after we hung out for a while, she left to do that and we had the house to ourselves. It was nice – I was especially exhausted, and was able to crash early.

The next morning, we got breakfast with friends who just moved to Denver from Chicago. It was great to see them, and after we ate we went for a little stroll around the neighborhood to look at street art. Then we drove back to the house, packed up our stuff, and headed up to Lyons. It was a bit rainy on the way there, but thankfully by the time we got there and were setting up, it had stopped.

It was so good to be back at Planet Bluegrass. The details of the individual days are a little muddled in my brain, but it was a great time. Monday I took a couple of classes that involved writing to some prompts, and that generated some ideas that led to me writing a complete set of lyrics to a new song that night. Over the next two days, I worked out music for it (my first attempt was entirely too moody, which I realized after another class), and Wednesday night I got to perform it at the open stage, with eight of my favorite humans, who came up with harmonies literally fifteen minutes before we went on to perform. It was incredible.

Practice

Practicing/learning harmonies 15 minutes before going on stage (Photo Credit: Rah Foard)

Performing

Performing at the open stage (Photo Credit: Rah Foard)

Other highlights of the week:

  • I made it my mission to do new things. I took a bunch of classes that intimidated me, and stayed out of my comfort zone most of the time.
  • I went swimming! It was my first time going shirtless in public (it’s been almost three years since I had top surgery). It felt good.
  • I reconnected with some of my very favorite people. I was surrounded by the most incredible community, and the safety that community created gave me the courage to try new things, take risks, and get out of my comfort zone. I was continuously reminded of how important community is, even to an introvert like me. Life doesn’t happen in isolation.

It’s been a whirlwind since we got back. We got home Saturday evening, and picked my partner’s dad up from Union Station (we borrowed his car for our trip, and so he came down to help us move and to get his car back). Sunday we did a lot of running back and forth between apartments. Monday, I headed off to work, and my partner and his dad coordinated with the movers to get the bulk of our stuff over to the new apartment! At this point, we have I think 99% of our stuff over at the new place, and we’ve been sleeping there all week. It’s a chaos of boxes, but last night my partner got most of the kitchen unpacked (I’m feeling under the weather and crashed early – hoping I can be more useful with the rest of the unpacking), and we HAVE to have everything unpacked by Saturday morning, because that’s when the reusable boxes are being picked back up. So…it’s going to be a bonkers couple of days. But it’s a great new space, and it’s already starting to feel like home.

Move and Vacation

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

We are inching ever closer to our move date, and the number of packed boxes in our apartment has increased since last week. We’ve been coordinating some maintenance needs with the new landlord so that we don’t need to have them come and fix things when we’re actually there.

We’re down to the wire for packing now, though.

My partner has been in Minnesota for the past few days, hanging out with his parents before borrowing his dad’s car to drive to Song School. He gets back into town this afternoon. We leave for Song School tomorrow.

I am so excited for Song School, for seeing dear friends and digging into the practice of songwriting. I am also worried that I’ll struggle to be present, knowing that we move two days after we get back. I’m hoping I’ll be able to set that aside and fully engage while we’re on this trip.

On that note: there will be no blog next week, as I will be in Colorado and off my phone as much as possible. The next time I write a blog will be from our new apartment!

What Day Is It?

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers, and apologies for the tardiness of this post. I had Monday off from work due to a Jewish holiday, and I have spent the whole week confused about what day it is. The week has been a little chaotic on top of that (more on that in the coming weeks, I’m sure), so yeah. Definitely forgot it was Thursday.

Over the weekend, there were some big shifts in plans for the next couple of months. It looks like we’re moving in August when our lease is up, which we had originally intended to put off for another year. We’re looking at places on Saturday, and I am holding my breath and hoping we find the right place ASAP. We’re still planning to go to Song School in Colorado in the middle of August, so it’s going to be quite the month.

Last night we got a beautiful break from thinking about moving logistics, though. We got to see a supergroup of our friends Heather Mae, Crys Matthews, Joe Stevens, and JJ Jones play at Evanston SPACE, which is one of our favorite venues in the area. They’re doing a Pride tour all month, and it was a beautiful show. (If you have a chance to catch the Singing OUT tour in your city, do yourself a favor and go.) The room was full of family. We all cried. We all laughed. We all sang along. And then we got to get hugs and handshakes from some of our favorite musician friends. It was exactly the sort of life-affirming experience that I needed…that so many of us need. It feels good to feel seen.

Saturday we’re heading back to SPACE to hear Barbara Carr and On Big Shoulders, which we’re also super excited about. If you’re in Chicago and looking for Saturday evening plans, I recommend checking this show out, too!

Home Again, Home Again

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Happy Thursday, dear readers!

I mentioned last week that I was getting ready to go on my first ever work trip. I got home from DC yesterday afternoon. It was a good trip overall, if not exactly what I expected/intended it to be. Here are some highlights:

  • I got to see our colleague who moved to Israel 3.5 years ago, who I’m always emailing/Skyping but who I hadn’t seen in person since she moved. It was great to catch up and hang out.
  • I learned things that I think will ultimately help me do my job better. Some of the sessions I went to went way over my head, but even those at least gave me things to look up once I get settled back at the office.
  • I got to meet up with my friend Heather Mae, who is one of the most genuinely kind people I have the pleasure of knowing (and also happens to be one of my favorite musicians). Taking an hour to grab coffee with her made my week. We have brains that operate in similar ways (#BipolarAdventures), and it’s always nice to be able to talk to someone who just gets it.
  • I did NOT do the networking I had planned to do. This had a lot to do with the fact that I’m just not great at networking, and because our 1800+ person conference (which was not the only large conference happening at the convention center) was a bit overwhelming for this socially anxious introvert. But I did think of things I can do better next time, and I have ideas of where to follow up on things from home.
  • I walked about 5 miles a day, most of them without even leaving the building where the conference was held. It was a lot.
  • I successfully got through airport security both ways without setting off any machines! I think that’s a first. (Usually if I have good luck on one leg of the journey, I won’t on the other. Or I set off all the machines. Body scanners are gender binarist bullshit.)

I’m on my way into the office now. I desperately wanted to work from home today, but I think my office mate would kill me if I left her alone for another day, so here we are. I’m exhausted, but still generally feeling good about the trip. As much as I enjoy traveling, I’m very ready to get settled back into my routine at home.

Adventures

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers! How on earth is it Thursday already? (At the same time: how is it only Thursday?) I am in that weird space where my body is exhausted but my brain is manic. #BipolarAdventures

It’s been a pretty good week. Here are some highlights:

  • On Sunday, a friend came over for breakfast so we could celebrate the fact that she finished grad school. (She graduates today!) I love the fact that we’ve cultivated this friendship that largely revolves around weekend breakfast/brunch and good conversation.
  • Monday night, my partner and I each played a set at the Acoustic Explosion (where six performers play 25 minute sets every Monday night). Both of our sets went well, and despite the nerves, we had fun.
  • This week at work has been busy, because I’m trying to wrap up some projects before I go on my first ever work trip next week. Sunday I’m flying to DC for the national conference for the company that makes our client database (which is what I manage at work). I’m not going to have time for sight-seeing, unfortunately, but I’m hoping I’ll get to connect with a friend or two. I’m also hoping for some good networking opportunities at the conference. I haven’t been to DC since I was in high school!

Small Smiles

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

Hello, dear readers – I’m back! I took the last two weeks off because of some weirdness with the site that still isn’t resolved, really, but if I take any more time off I’ll be thoroughly out of the habit of blogging, so here we are.

I haven’t had a particularly eventful few weeks, either, so I haven’t felt like I have a lot to write about. This weekend is going to involve a solo road trip, so details on that will follow next week, I’m sure.

In the absence of profound thoughts, here are some things that have made me smile recently:

  • I’ve gotten a fair bit of knitting done lately, and only about a third of it has been for me, which is unusual. I’m working on a hat for a friend, and I knit a little vest and a stuffed spider for our friends’ baby. (The adults all agreed the spider was cute, but it scared the baby…oops!) I had so much fun making the spider that I made another one for my arachnophobic self:

I think she looks like Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon.

  • The details of my first ever work trip out of state are being finalized, and I’m more excited than I thought I’d be. I’ll be in DC in mid-May for a few days. I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to get away from the conference and see the city, but I haven’t been to DC since I was in high school, so I’m looking forward to it.
  • The D&D group I’ve been in for a bit over a year now just had our last big session over the weekend – one of our players is moving out of the country. It’s sad to know that we’re not continuing with these characters we’ve gotten to know and love (although we’ll still have the occasional one-shot game, I’m sure), but the whole experience of this game has been so great. We all meshed really well and could play off each other and consistently took the story in interesting directions. I love nerds.

Like I said, solo road trip this weekend (for reasons I’ll explain next week), so I’m sure next week I’ll have stories to tell. Meanwhile, what’s been making you smile lately, friends?

Doing the Scary Things

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

It’s Thursday and it feels like it’s already been a long week.

Over the weekend, my partner and I moved 16 bags of donations out of our apartment. We also went to IKEA and got a new bookshelf. It was an overwhelming weekend, but it feels so much nicer in our apartment now.

I don’t want to go into details just yet, but I did a hard, scary thing at work on Monday and Tuesday. It went better than I expected it to, and if things continue to work out, it’ll mean some positive change in my work life.

One of the things that made this hard was that I am not great at advocating for myself. I’m also not great at admitting to myself or anyone else when I need help/need to be advocated for.

I feel very lucky to have a partner and many friends who have my back and gently but firmly nudge me toward doing the things that will make my life better. Special thanks this week to friend K for pointing me in the direction of good resources and for helping me clarify what I needed.

This also just happens to be a really packed week outside of work: therapy, volunteering, hanging out with friends, playing D&D. It would have been even busier, but a couple of things were canceled last-minute. It’s a lot, and while it’s pretty much all good things, they’re still things that take energy. I’m tired.

Tired, but grateful. Grateful for good friends and a patient partner. Grateful for the slow but hopefully real turn toward spring. And grateful for that new IKEA bookcase, which has expanded our library into something really beautiful.

/ Alyxander James / Leave a comment

I’m sitting on the bus on my way to work Thursday morning, and I am not really sure what to write about. It hasn’t been a terribly eventful week. Truthfully, I’ve been dealing with a lot of pain and trying to navigate that reality. But there have been some bright spots, too. For example:

  • Friday night we had a chance to knit with a couple of friends for the first time in a while. I finished a pair of socks that I’d started two years ago, so that felt like an accomplishment.
  • Sunday night was the class showcase for the songwriting class I was in in January and February. I am always so impressed by the work that comes out of those songwriting classes, and that community is something truly special. I am grateful to be a part of it.
  • Last night I started taking a banjo class, and I am very excited about it. The instructor is a friend and an excellent teacher, and the class promises to be a lot of fun.