Finding Time to Rest

Friends, apologies for another late post – I stayed home sick today in an attempt to recover from the cold that’s plagued me for the past week before I go to visit my grandmother for her birthday on Saturday, which meant I slept in rather than writing a post on time. I’m feeling a bit better after the extra sleep and a shower, so I’m hoping that’s a good sign.

Part of why I called off from work and took a sick day was also due to the fact that this is just a bit of a bonkers week. My bestie from Minnesota was in town over the weekend, which was delightful. She left Monday afternoon; Monday evening I had therapy and my partner and I both played sets at an acoustic show. Tuesday I had the day off, but somehow it went by very quickly…that evening, we got dinner with our friend Emily Ann Peterson who was in town for a show, and then I had songwriting class. Yesterday I went to work (despite the fact that I felt pretty crummy when I woke up), and then in the evening we went to Emily Ann’s show, which was super fun. Tonight, I’m volunteering at the Old Town School, and tomorrow after work I’m picking up a rental car, picking up my partner, and driving to western Wisconsin. Saturday morning, we’re getting up early and going to eastern Iowa to have birthday brunch with Grandma, and then we’re driving back to Chicago for another show (our friends Heather Mae and Crys Matthews). Sunday I’m returning the rental car, playing Monsterhearts 2 with some friends, and possibly (if the game ends at a reasonable time) going to my songwriting class showcase. So yeah. Busy week.

So while I didn’t really want to use my sick time, I am taking today off, because if I keep going at the breakneck speed I feel like I have been, I’m going to end up with more than a cold. I’m going to try to get some laundry done while I’m home today, but beyond that, I’m trying to rest.

Rest and Recovery

As a meditative practice, I draw a tarot card each morning when I get up and use it as a focal point for some journalling and introspection. There’s been a major theme over the past week of rest, and healing, and struggling to let those things happen.

I am not great at rest.

Don’t get me wrong – I thoroughly enjoy being lazy a lot of the time. But as a chronic insomniac and a person whose brain never really shuts down, the concept of “rest” is one that I struggle with a lot.

I’ve needed to work around that this week. I’ve been in recovery mode since my surgery last Wednesday (which was relatively minor but still came with post-op restrictions and several stitches), and it hasn’t always been easy. I’ve been tired, both because my body is putting itself back together and because the pain medication I’ve been on tends to make me feel a little foggy. I worked from home last Thursday and Friday, but have been out and about every day since Sunday, which has helped keep me from feeling stir crazy but has also meant that I’m experiencing rather more pain and awareness of my limitations at a week post-op than I did the first day or two. As I’m writing this Wednesday evening, I haven’t managed to make it through a full day at work yet (though I’m really, really hoping that doesn’t continue to be a trend). I’m incredibly lucky that my boss is more concerned with my general well-being than anything else, because I’ve not been anywhere near as productive as I’d like.

I am definitely on the mend. And I am learning (ever so slowly) that it is okay to have limitations. This is a lesson I’m sure I’m going to keep coming back to many times in the coming months. I’m hoping it’s one that gets easier with practice.